Browsing Tag: healing

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Never Stop Dancing

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never-stop-dancing

I have seen women shrink from the best versions of themselves to a shadow because of a sour marriage. I have seen men silenced by women who lack the ability to caress their soul into greatness. I have watched children transformed into dummies by angry parents who weren’t ready to have them. I have seen men and women alike shutting down, becoming depressed about their journey. I have witnessed dreams die because the carrier stopped dancing.

What am I saying? When you stop dancing, you die, and you kill everything that’s in your path. Whether you know it or not. As beautiful and grand some flowers are, they can also kill. Gabrielle Roth wrote this amazing piece that explains it, “In many shamanic societies, if you came to a shaman or medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited, or depressed, they would ask one of four questions.
When did you stop dancing?
When did you stop singing?
When did you stop being enchanted by stories?
When did you stop finding comfort in the sweet territory of silence?”

So my question to you is when? There is always a “when”. I remember the first day I decided to stop dancing… I was hurt by a statement made by a friend and I decided to stop living my purpose. It took me years to get over it and to start dancing again. So today I’m encouraging you to dance, to sing, to be enchanted, to live your purpose. Do not let what people say change who you are, do not stop dreaming because of a few disappointments. Do not let an heartbreak make you hate men. Do not let a failed business stop you from dreaming. Do not allow people to change you. Keep dancing to the tune of your own rhythm.

Have a great weekend.

 

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healing-start-inside

Wounds at different parts of the body heal at different dates. When doctors stitch injuries, they take off the sutures at different times depending on the location of the injury. For instance, sutures on the face are removed after five to seven days while those on the extremities (arms and legs) stay on till about fourteen days. The difference in blood supply to these parts determines this. The blood provides the needed nutrients and constituents for proper healing.

Some wounds aren’t physical, yet, they share similarities with the physical wounds. They are located at different recesses of the mind/soul/heart. Some are located deep within, where the light of healing might have a hard time reaching. Many things bring about such wounds; betrayal, the death of loved ones, relationship heartbreaks, business fold ups, etc.

A physical wound that goes unnoticed may or may not cause any trouble. If it does not get contaminated or infected, it would heal and close up without the person even knowing. Same applies to situations where others have taken serious offence on your behalf but you don’t even take note of it. You are not moved, you are not affected. Your life goes on, uncomplicated.

Some wounds need to be opened up, cleaned and allowed to gape for a while. They are called dirty wounds because they contain debris, germs and other things that would prevent healing if not attended to. These wounds are usually not fresh as they would have been ignored for a while. Psychological and emotional trauma need to be recognized and accepted as hurt. This is the first step to healing, else, the wound is buried and it begins to fester. Opening up to someone is usually helpful. Although, doing so to the wrong person can make things worse. It has been found that just talking about the when, where and how of hurtful situations help many people heal faster.

Any open wound, especially if it is quite large, has to eventually be closed up. Thus, it does not pay anyone to dwell indefinitely on psychological and emotional wounds. Eventually, closure is needed. This may include a relocation from where the hurtful event occurred, discarding clothing’s belonging to dead loved ones, starting a new job, a new relationship, anything that closes the door to the past.

Sutures have to be removed unless they are the absorbable type. Whatever or whoever helps you get over non-physical wounds should not become a crutch. You still have to let go. Unless the person is absorbable. For instance, the person can become your new girl/boyfriend. Although, it is advisable to rise above such hurt, be sure you are healed and clear headed before taking such a decision.

Wounds should heal. It takes a lot to heal. It takes letting go. Let go of the hurt. Let the offender off. Surrender.

You can take this a little way further, join a series of faith challenges that would bring you a step closer to healing. Click here to start.

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Many times, some people find it very difficult to move on after they’ve been hurt by love, they find it hard to fall in love again and might be aloof in an existing relationship. Others might find it hard to fall in love again. If you are unlucky enough to be dating a person still strung up on their EX, then we have some tips that could possibly help you. Dating such person can make you feel inferior especially when he or she constantly talks about an ex every time. You might get jealous but you don’t want to leave because you are sincerely in love. The truth is they can still love but it takes time, so what are the things to look out for? How can you help with the “healing” process? Or better still you might scrap all this and just walk away.

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Don’t know if your partner hasn’t moved on with an ex?

There are signs to look out for:

• Talks about the ex every time you are together
• Checks the ex every time on social media, calls, and with text messages.
• Feels happy talking about the ex.
• A little scuffle would always result in ‘had it been it was my ex’
• Would never want you to have any relationship with his/her family

Now, having noticed these signs, the next plan of action, if you must, is to help your partner get over an ex. A partner that doesn’t get over an ex, brings stagnancy to the relationship they are presently in.

How to GET THE SPRUNG OUT!

• The best way to deal with your partner is to have a one on one conversation. Communicate about how you feel, ask questions politely, and just simply discuss.
• When you ask questions about the ex, make sure they are not questions that make it seem like your partner shouldn’t care about them. Don’t say ‘why can’t you just get over them? or what is it that interests you this much that you can’t get over it?’ Such questions could make your partner get upset and would possibly shut them up.
• When the ex-lover comes into a conversation, redirect the conversation to your present relationship.
• Spend quality time with your partner, get to know why the ex-lover is so important to them.
• Crack jokes with the ex’s name involved and yours. Making light of the situation reduces tension
• Because your partner hasn’t gotten over the ex-lover doesn’t give you an excuse to create a close relationship with your own ex-lover. A healthy relationship cannot survive on revenge.
• Ask questions from your partner’s friends about their former lover. Ask simple questions about them and what makes your partner still hung up on the relationship etc.
• Talk about the future with him. Know their plans for the relationship.
• Give it time. Don’t be in a haste to quit when you know he is yet to move on.

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If all of these fails then MOVE ON

I believe a man or woman might find it hard to move on from a relationship but it’s not in our place to force someone to love us. If all else fails, take a walk! Do not manipulate, cajole, or coerce anyone to love you. Real relationships are never forced or are they ever based on pretense.

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