Monthly Pick, Relationships


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Many times, some people find it very difficult to move on after they’ve been hurt by love, they find it hard to fall in love again and might be aloof in an existing relationship. Others might find it hard to fall in love again. If you are unlucky enough to be dating a person still strung up on their EX, then we have some tips that could possibly help you. Dating such person can make you feel inferior especially when he or she constantly talks about an ex every time. You might get jealous but you don’t want to leave because you are sincerely in love. The truth is they can still love but it takes time, so what are the things to look out for? How can you help with the “healing” process? Or better still you might scrap all this and just walk away.


Don’t know if your partner hasn’t moved on with an ex?

There are signs to look out for:

• Talks about the ex every time you are together
• Checks the ex every time on social media, calls, and with text messages.
• Feels happy talking about the ex.
• A little scuffle would always result in ‘had it been it was my ex’
• Would never want you to have any relationship with his/her family

Now, having noticed these signs, the next plan of action, if you must, is to help your partner get over an ex. A partner that doesn’t get over an ex, brings stagnancy to the relationship they are presently in.


• The best way to deal with your partner is to have a one on one conversation. Communicate about how you feel, ask questions politely, and just simply discuss.
• When you ask questions about the ex, make sure they are not questions that make it seem like your partner shouldn’t care about them. Don’t say ‘why can’t you just get over them? or what is it that interests you this much that you can’t get over it?’ Such questions could make your partner get upset and would possibly shut them up.
• When the ex-lover comes into a conversation, redirect the conversation to your present relationship.
• Spend quality time with your partner, get to know why the ex-lover is so important to them.
• Crack jokes with the ex’s name involved and yours. Making light of the situation reduces tension
• Because your partner hasn’t gotten over the ex-lover doesn’t give you an excuse to create a close relationship with your own ex-lover. A healthy relationship cannot survive on revenge.
• Ask questions from your partner’s friends about their former lover. Ask simple questions about them and what makes your partner still hung up on the relationship etc.
• Talk about the future with him. Know their plans for the relationship.
• Give it time. Don’t be in a haste to quit when you know he is yet to move on.


If all of these fails then MOVE ON

I believe a man or woman might find it hard to move on from a relationship but it’s not in our place to force someone to love us. If all else fails, take a walk! Do not manipulate, cajole, or coerce anyone to love you. Real relationships are never forced or are they ever based on pretense.

Eunice Oladokun

Eunice Oladokun

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