Browsing Category: Spiritual Living

advancing-through-adversity-how-kelli-found-purpose-through-grief

I lived the first 40 years of my life in Minnesota learning to endure the cold winters as well as dealing with the adversity of being a two time cancer survivor,  divorcee, going through a bankruptcy and losing my home, then losing my mom to suicide in 2017. At that point I decided I had enough of what Minnesota had to offer and I made a move down to sunny Florida! After a few months of soaking up the sunshine, my 20 year old son asked if he could join me and my daughter Piper, to which we happily agreed.  Quintin had been battling a drug addiction and his commitment to live a healthy and sober life down in Florida was music to our ears. Unfortunately this was not to be his fate. His Minnesota family and friends decided to throw him a going away party and what he intended to be a “last hurrah” was in fact his last hurrah. Quintin died of an accidental drug overdose on July 8th 2018.

Since his passing, I have been able to walk through a supernatural healing process and share his life story and message of hope with so many! While I would much rather have both my mom and Quintin by my side here on Earth, I am so thankful for the strength, growth, and new clarity their passing has provided in my life. My life is now dedicated to encouraging those in recovery and those affected by trauma and loss to keep moving forward and grab hold of all the gifts God has for them! Now, I use the lessons and skills learned during this intense season of grief to help others navigate through loss in an intentional and productive way.

What does it mean to live a designed life?

For me, it means being in control of what you are creating and allowing in your life. You know who you are, what you want, what you deserve, and what you are capable of doing and you are daily taking steps to become the fullness of all you were created to become.

What impact do you want to have on the world or change you would like to see?

I would love to see a world where people are not entrapped by their past or claiming a victim mentality from hurtful things that have happened to them. A world where we all commit to continual healing and growth and use every experience to that end.

What is your why?

My why is twofold: First of all, I feel responsible to pass on a message of hope and healing because it was a similar message that saved me from the depths of despair and I now feel compelled to pay that forward. Secondly, and certainly no less important is to turn what was meant for evil to good. To build a legacy on behalf of my mother and son who both died from drug overdoses.

Describe yourself in one word?

Fearless

What mantra do you live by?

Your past doesn’t define you, it prepares you.

Describe your happy place?

My happy place is on a beach near a small town surrounded by friends and family.

What is your superpower and how do you use it?

I am not afraid of the future or death. This makes it easy to take bold risks and say yes to things that most people wouldn’t consider.

What drives you?

Wanting to make a difference in the world and create a legacy, my mom and son would be proud of.

Learn more about Kelli: 

www.kellibarthelemy.com

http://www.kellibarthelemy.com

Non-profit in honor of Kelli’s Son, Quintin: www.QsArmy.com

For a listing of all digital courses I offer go to:

https://thegriefguru.teachable.com/

For a FREE Grief Assessment Click Here:

https://thegriefguru.teachable.com/p/grief-assessment?preview=logged_out

Find me on FaceBook: www.facebook.com/thegriefguru

Instagram: @Thegriefguru

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trustingintheprocess

Trust is an essential part of a relationship, it is an important part of any business partnership, it is also a fundamental tenet in religion. Trust means you aren’t afraid to believe in something or someone. Are you someone that can be trusted? Do you find it hard or easy to trust? In today’s society, its so hard to find people to trust. But do you trust the process of your journey, your life? It is critical to trust in the process of your journey not just in people. Trust is believing that all the good and bad of your existence will end in praise. It’s believing that your child would turn out ok, it is trusting that your marriage would beat the odds and survive, it’s believing that you are sustained by God and you draw from His wall of grace, it’s trusting that the doctors results are not the final report, it is also trusting that your deep desires and dreams would come true and that your business would not fail.

Trust is much like faith and it requires actively letting go and letting your heart accept and trust the process of whatever life throws at you. The beautiful part of it is that you can truly rest in your trust of the divine…. ” Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death (sickness, divorce, poverty, need, broken heart, failed business, lost job, family problems, terminal illness) I will fear no evil: for thou (God) art with me; thy rod (protection) and thy staff (trust) they comfort me. Psalm 23:4
He protects us with His rod and we can trust the leading of His staff. Do you feel like crying out, “baa, baa, baa?” He is listening!

You can simply rest like a newborn without a care in the world, knowing that you are in good hands.

JUST TRUST!!!!

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look-away-little

The common advice you get these days is to look inwards. Everyone says it’s better to take care of the inner person.  They tell you to be yourself, protect yourself, improve yourself. You do so many things for yourself all the search of a happier life and more money.

Maybe if you walked a little bit more to the right of the road, or if you didn’t interrupt people so much, you are the one always needing your attention. “Take a vacation,” they say, pamper yourself to a bowl of ice-cream. Its always all about you and it feels good while you are following all these ideas.

Gradually, it becomes difficult to be so “focused” on yourself.  You have become quite judgemental of yourself while trying to improve. This also makes us more selfish because everything we do and say is now seen from the perspective of how “you” would have done it. You no longer really listen to people, it’s becoming so easy to just see what you would have done and not the unique reality of other people.

Empathy begins to die a slow and excruciating pain. You are soon unable to take perspective from others because the only reality that exists is the one from your own side of the table. This leads to unproductive days, unfulfilled socialization, a resounding disconnect from others and less fulfillment in your personal life.

Look Away from Self

It’s time to shift focus a bit, stop giving so much attention to you. Look at other people, engage with their needs and connect with them sincerely.
Most times we get so carried away with our own needs that we lose touch with other people. What’s the essence of success if it does not bring us closer to people who matter to us.

Here is the challenge. Determine to look away from your present circumstances and give more time to other people’s needs.
You will find more fulfillment, the difficult situations will shrink in magnitude and you will be more fulfilled.

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%e2%80%8binvest-actively-participate

It’s time to stop being a victim and start being an active member in your own life. Invest in your choices, in people and in your time. Imagine you are driving a car and you feel no need to steer the wheels or engage the gears, would you reach your destination?
What if you don’t know where the destination is?  Does that mean you should leave the car to drive itself? Definitely not! Even when the path is unclear, you still need to make concerted effort to stay on the road.

Stay on the road!

Investing ensures that you do not drift aimlessly. Each time you identify a cause to pursue, a place where your passion is executed, you have a chance to participate in the future. Investing keeps you anchored to a course and helps you stay aligned long enough to determine where the right path is. You can always switch path if you are on the road but that may be hard if you leave your life’s vehicle to just drift and swerve aimlessly.
Invest in what?

This is not just about money and how you spend it.

It’s also about the people you associate with and where you spend the larger chunk of your time. Keep these three in mind:
1. Time

2. People

3. Energy
If you can invest the three listed things above in the right places, you are more likely to come out stronger and better. You have a greater chance of participating in your growth and shape your own future. Living a designed life involves active participation in your own life.

 

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eulogies-dead-wasted

The beauty of the casket reminds me of how much we conceal beautiful things. We then open up after our loved ones have died. Eulogies are wasted on the dead.

I have always hated funeral services not because of the sight of the dead body or cries of the mourners. Funerals are the moments when the most beautiful words about the dead are spoken but they are dead. It is lamentable that half of the sweet words spoken about the dead was most likely unknown to them while they lived.

I remember the priest who preached at the last funeral I attended. My camera clicked away while he spoke but I listened. He told a story of how his late friend saved him from a terrible mistake that would have cost him his life and that of his family. He spoke at length on the impact he made and by the time the sermon was finished, the congregation was in tears.

Tears and Eulogies

I struggled to hide my own tears not because of his words but because the priest never told him. His friend did not even know he did anything that made such influence in his life. As far as I was concerned, telling the story at the funeral service was a waste since the dead man did not hear it while he was alive.

We must realize that people really do not have to die before we say how much they have influenced us?
Everybody needs to be told how much impact they have made on people’s life while they are alive. Many people spend their entire lives wishing that other people would acknowledge them. Your kind words of appreciation and honour at their grave side would really not make any difference.

All that matters is what you have told them while their spirits was in their body. Never throw away a chance to say how much you love and appreciate other people. If you see something beautiful in someone, say it now. Do not wait for that moment when the now cold ears of the dead cannot hear the beautiful words spoken about him.

 

Would you want to learn a bit more on how you can build better relationships? Join the DL academy.

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singles-failure

Failure isn’t your name. I don’t know what you are facing in this season of singleness, but I know I have faced times recently where thoughts of feeling like a failure would come. I took the time to pray about this next blog and I wanted to attack this issue. You are single and failure will try to come through different avenues in your life like a shadow. It will try to make you feel like you can’t keep going because of the opportunities in your past that didn’t work out or let’s say God didn’t allow them to work out. Failure doesn’t have a hold on you and if you look deeply into your life you will see that God has always shown out just for you.

You might have faced many circumstances in your life where you felt like you failed and didn’t even understand why that moment of your life was still lingering with you in your mind. I wanted to see what the word failure actually meant.

Failure means:

Lack of success
A falling short
One that has failed

Have you recently experienced moments where it seems like your God given dream is taking so long and opportunities that you thought were from God slammed in your face? Have you felt like you are falling short from the word of God sometimes or even your own responsibilities? Are you still harboring resentment from people in your past and you can’t seem to shake it off? The Lord knows what you will face and what you have faced. Did you know he took even your failure or even strong feelings of failure on the cross of Calvary? (Colossians 2:14)

I believe that this season is a time to take all of your questions and even moments where you felt like a failure to God. He wants to take even times like this to show you his great love for you. (Romans 8:31-29) Failure can’t stop you even when you feel like you don’t know what to do with it when it tries to creep up on you. Failure doesn’t define who you are. God defines who you are. I also believe that God wants you to know who you are when failure tries to belittle you. Start looking at yourself and even your circumstances through the word of God.

See as God Sees

I have had opportunities in my own life that either the doors were closed or God allowed them to remain shut. I kept thinking and trying to find a solution, but realized that God wanted me to know that he was deeply in control. When we know God is in control we don’t have to be afraid of failure. When we know who we are in Christ failure is looked through a different lens. Here are 8 points to help you look at failure through the right perspective.

Failure doesn’t define you. Christ does. (2 Corinthians 5:21)
Failure doesn’t have to control your next steps. (Proverbs 16:9)
Failure isn’t going to stop the plan God has for your life. (Jeremiah 29:11)
Failure can’t oppress you when you stand on the word of God. (Isaiah 54:14)
Failure doesn’t have to depress you. (Psalm 43:5)
Failure can be a learning tool. (James 1:5)
Failure can’t break you. (Jeremiah 23:29)
Failure has nothing on Christ. (John 16:33)

Take a deep breath during your single journey and take the time to look through each scripture. Let it bring a new perspective to you and help you combat failure when it comes. Remember, you aren’t alone in this walk with the Lord. Christ has conquered failure and you are one with the Lord.

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash
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4-points-help-navigate-single-season

There are times during your single season where you will have to look beyond what you see. It’s easy to say that you enjoy your single season when all is going well, but when your life gets difficult it’s not as easy. I strongly believe that you have to embrace what is in front of you. You have to embrace the season you are in by looking at God as your focus. When you focus on your circumstances it will cause you to not take hold of what God wants to do in your life. Your single season doesn’t have to be perfect, but you can love the journey. I know you may not always like it, but you can enjoy YOU. You can navigate this season with grace and power. You can learn lessons about yourself that can only be learned when you surrender every ounce of your life to God. You can’t view the world as your guide and God. You have to use the word of God as your guide because he can see what you can’t see.
In my own season of singleness, I am learning that the word of God has to be my foundation. As I am seeking the Lord I am noticing that there are areas of my foundation that needs to be built back up and established. I pray that you would look at your personal walk with God and break apart your habits. Take time to break apart your choices and your heart. Take time to see what motivates you and figure out how to love you more. Take time to figure out how to be selfless and compassionate. Don’t just try to make it through your single season because that isn’t the purpose. You have to pick up each lesson no matter how hard or how easy. You have to store it and cultivate it. God doesn’t waste your pain or even waste your high moments. He uses it to pull his calling out of you and he teaches you to trust him as you walk through this season. You can’t trust God only when everything’s going right in your life. If you do this you will never understand what truly trusting God means. God doesn’t want you to feel like you are forgotten during this walk or left alone. You might be single right now and you still feel like you don’t even know what to really do during this season.

joey-kyber-132520

Here are 4 points that can help you navigate during your season of singleness.

1. Use the word of God
Some of us are not walking in power and authority in this season because we are constantly looking for people to help us every second. God wants us to use his word as a weapon against the enemy. We must pick up that Bible. God wants his children to use the word of God as a tool for every question we have and even for comfort. We can’t just expect to walk in this season with peace when we haven’t even taken the time to pull out the word of God. We have to take the time out to meditate on the word of God and speak it. The word of God is powerful when we use it and speak it. We must apply it and call on the Lord every single day. (Hebrews 4:12)

2. Have many conversations with God
Don’t just have one conversation with God and expect to just be at peace for the rest of your single season. God wants to have deep long conversations with you. He wants to talk with you and have fun with you. Yes, God wants to have fun with you! He doesn’t want to just rush you through your single season and not teach you something. Start asking the Lord questions and start learning what it means to just sit with him. God wants to do stuff with you and he wants you to acknowledge him in all you do. (Proverbs 3:6)

3. Don’t allow challenges during this season to stop you
We all face many hard challenges. I wish I could tell you that you will get out of them at a specific time. God doesn’t want you to face each situation alone. Take time to fall on your face with God. Take time to have quiet time with God even during rough times. Don’t allow the enemy to confuse you or make you think that God is causing you all of this pain. During your season of singleness, you need time to get away with the Lord. You can’t just sit in this season and not go into your prayer closet or prayer area. You can’t do this season by yourself. You must hear from the Lord during this special season. You must look at what is going right in this season. He has wisdom and answers for you as you seek him. (Matthew 6:33)

4. Do God fearing productive activities
Sometimes, people think waiting on God in this season means doing nothing. No! Seek and pray with the Lord. Ask him to show you Bible activities and groups. Spend time with God fearing friends and work on your talents. Spend time with God daily and watch Christian shows to get you closer to the king. Find ways to help and volunteer with your community. Help your church and don’t just think about yourself. God isn’t slow in coming. He wants you to move forward into your destiny. If you don’t know where to start just ask him. Wait on his answers and he will reveal to you the answers you need while you wait on him.

I pray that each point will help you navigate better in this season. You shouldn’t be bored at all. God has a plan that is beyond your understanding. Use each point to help you as you walk with the Lord in this season. You can also JOIN the 21 days of FAITH challenge, it’s FREE.

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rest-christians-reflect

Over the past week, I have realized that many Christians are going through a season of PRESSING. You might be feeling burdened down a bit or even having a lot on your mind. I want you to know YOU ARE IN A GREAT PLACE. You are in a place of walking into the greatest moments of your life. The enemy wouldn’t be messing with you or bothering you if you weren’t a threat! You have to really sit back and reflect on what the Lord has done for you. You may have faced many secret battles and public battles. Just know you are never alone.

The enemy is hating on you in a big way. He doesn’t want you to find out what it means to really walk with the Lord. He doesn’t want you to learn who you are in Christ especially during your season of singleness. Guess what?! He is already defeated and if you don’t give up! You will see what God promised you in every area of your life. I want you to know that you must continue standing on the word of God. You must use your spiritual weapon of rest as you walk through this season.

What God is Saying

During my quiet time with the Lord God kept telling me that my children need to rest. God stated to me that many of us are trying to fight battles and we are exhausted. God is saying he has your back! You don’t have to fall or give into the enemy’s lies. God sees what you have been through and what you are going through. In order to win the battle, you are in you must rest. When you rest it doesn’t mean you have no power or authority. Also, don’t feel bad when you rest. I know it looks impossible to rest because there are so many things to do each day. Take a step back. I want you to stop questioning and I want you to just breathe.

Jesus wants to teach you how to walk with him. This key scripture came into my heart during my quiet time.

Matthew 11:30 NIV

For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

 

The burdens you are carrying will crush you if you don’t give it to God. The weights and the questions may seem unanswered, but let it go. Give it to God and just stand in the place of worship. Continue to stand in that place of faith. People around you may not understand and guess what it’s okay! God is leading you into a new land! Just PRESS THROUGH!

Take time this week to reflect and rest! Find time this week to look at your season of singleness as a gift. Take time to look at the faithfulness of God! THAT IS THE KEY TO MOVE INTO THE NEXT LEVEL OF GLORY!

Here are a few key points that can help you as you reflect during your pressing season.

Rest Key Points:

  • You can’t figure it all out. Just let everything go and give every concern over to God. Whatever you keep thinking about over and over again. You will just exhaust yourself. Let father God take hold of each situation. Just tell God what is on your heart. You are never alone. Let God into every area. Just rest into his arms. Just sit with him.
  • Thank God for what you do have. The best place to be to enter into a mindset of rest with God is to thank him.
  • It’s okay to sit back after you have done what you were supposed to and just rest. Don’t allow people to make you feel bad for your me + Jesus time. You need special moments with God to energize yourself. You need personal time with the Lord to reflect.
  • Rest in prayer with the Lord. Sometimes, you just need time to lay on your face and really surrender everything to the Lord. He wants you whole and complete in him alone. Don’t talk so much, but work on during this season to listen and receive.
  • If you don’t know where to begin to rest. Just sit with your favorite healthy snack and talk with God. He just wants to hear your voice. Simple steps bring big progress!

Reflect Key Points:

  • Look back on what the Lord has done in your past. If you keep focusing on what you don’t have you won’t have the heart you need to really receive what the Lord wants you to receive. If you focus on what God has done you will start seeing he hasn’t left you!
  • Write down what the Lord has done. Write it down in a journal or personal tablet. You have to write down blessings and what God has done so you can have a visual. You have to have some type of memorial memories of what the Lord has done. So, when you have moments that seem like God is taking a while. You can look back and say WOW he did it for me a while back and I know he will do it again!
  • Don’t get bitter when other people get blessings that you wanted. Just know that God has allowed each test to come for a reason. God has specific blessings for each of us. Don’t worry or be afraid when things take a while. Just reflect and know that God is fighting for you.

 

REFLECTION AND THANKFULNESS COMBINED ARE POWERFUL!!!!

 

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embrace-losses-twist

EMBRACE IT

A loss is the exact opposite of profit. Profit is said to be the benefit that yields from things we’ve dedicated out time, passion, money and so many others things that are precious to us. Loss, on the other hand, is defined as that thing, person, contract, non-living things you lose.

There is some indispensable significance of losses, there are some things you have to let go in your life. It doesn’t mean you are not determined to have that thing or pursue it in life, it only means you can everything good to yourself alone.

In the principle of life, bad things happen to both the good and the bad. The principle of life does not distinguish anyone saint in the journey called life. Good people die, bad people die, good people experience accidents, bad people do as well, good people cry, bad people also cry. A phenomenon question people have cultivated the habit of saying is that “why do bad thing happen to good people?’. And my answer is, “the principle of life doesn’t know if you are good or not, only human distinguish between the good and the bad.

Now, talking about losses, the good people also experience losses in the journey called life. The road to stardom tells more about this topic. Life is hard, success is hard. You have to give it all your best, and at times, your best may not really work out.

Moving on to the past, research has proven it that almost every successful person has some past (clean or dirty), but you don’t get to know they do not until they tell you about it. What helped? Was it that easy for them? Do they have pains you’ve got? Do they have stigmas as well? Of course, they only applied the principle of letting go. The fact about past is, the most you reminiscence on it, it makes you lose focus of the future.

10 indispensable significance of losses.

  1. It makes you strong: Those that have battled with so many stigmas in life are always strong to face the future. In the actual sense of letting go, such person becomes stronger than before. When you have experienced some things in your life, to face such occurrence in the future would never make you inferior but superior.
  2. The act of letting go becomes an innate habit for you: You find it very easy to let go of some other thing too, because you have once tasted the sourness of letting go.
  3. More experienced: One of the major significance of losses to mankind is that it makes more experienced. For instance, if it was to be a business loss, it is of veracity that that loss would make one thinks very well before dabbling into another.
  4. You understand life better, the realities of life reveal itself to you.
  5. You look for so many alternatives to move on
  6. It makes you think big.
  7. You become a motivator to others. You will become a godfather to other young and aspiring entrepreneur.
  8. You become more creative than before.
  9. Losses open other means. It proves Martin Luther King right in one of his quote. He said and I quote “difficulties shouldn’t mar you, let it make you”.
  10. It makes you trace your step back to your path. At times, the main reason why something fails in our lives is a result of we deviating from focus, and no man gets to the top without having focus.
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are-you-waiting-well-or-complaining

 

There is something powerful that can happen when you wait on the Lord with good intention during your season of singleness. When you don’t complain and look at your season with thankfulness your perspective will be enlightened daily by the hand of God. Sometimes, we think waiting well means doing nothing. We often focus on our relationship status to change and we forget that’s not the purpose. The main focus of your single journey isn’t a status change or selfish gain. The main focus is seeking after God because he is good and learning how to grow your relationship with Him.

God is constantly changing you from the inside out, but it’s up to you to grab hold of his word and apply it. He isn’t trying to make you feel left out and alone. He is setting you apart in this particular season for His glory. There were many times in my single season where I felt like everyone else around me was getting the answers to the prayers they prayed, but me. I would see and hear praise reports continually and of course, I was happy for them. I just felt that at the same time as I waited on God and pursued His face I would feel like time was ticking for me. I would try my best not to complain, but when I had my quiet time with God I started to realize that my heart wasn’t full of praise. My heart was full of bitterness and frustration. I started to complain to the Lord during my quiet time instead of praising Him like I used to do. His word clearly mentions not to complain, but to live a clean life before the Lord.

 

Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. Philippians 2:14-15 (NLT)

God spoke to me one day during my quiet time with him that His timing for every area of my life was His perfect timing and not my own. He spoke to me telling me that my heart had to be healed from past issues and He was making me whole. I felt relieved, but I also took the time to repent for doubting Him and not really trusting Him like I knew I should. I knew I had to take another step during that time to fully surrender every area of my season of singleness to the Lord and allow Him to take total Lordship over it all. You may have felt just like I did that everyone is progressing, but you. You may not understand why and you may even feel like you have done all you can on your end. God could be calling you to surrender every part of your heart to Him like I did one evening in my prayer closet. He could be telling you this very instant to trust Him in a fresh new way. God wants you to trust Him and know He will always be faithful to you. God is allowing certain circumstances during your single season to build your character and teach you contentment. God does nothing without purpose. This scripture of contentment is a beautiful scripture to meditate on and reflect on as you learn to wait well on the Lord.

Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. Philippians 4:11 (KJV)

There will be days in your personal life where you feel like you want to complain, but reflecting on what God has done in your past can realign your heart to God. When you take special time daily to refocus your thoughts on God and speak to Him about His faithfulness your whole season will change. When you start being more thankful for your single journey and looking for ways to develop a grateful heart you will see God guide you even in the choices you make. When you feel like irritation and the spirit of complaining is trying to creep up on you immediately call out to God for supernatural help right then. He will not only help you, but He will guide you past your frustrations. Let His will be done in your life and not your will. He understands what you desire, but when you wait well on Him He will honor you with your heart’s desire.

Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires. Psalm 37:4 (NLT)

His plan and purpose for your singleness is full of adventure and wisdom. Don’t allow the waiting to make you move past the promises God told you. Let your heart be glad and enjoy learning more about God each day.

 

Contributor: Hanah St.Rose

Blogger-Entrepreneur-Writer-Speaker

Connect with Her: http://bookstroze.wixsite.com/rosesandworship

 

 

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