Featured image from Nordstrom.com

A Man’s Guide to Buying Lingerie for his Lady

Most men know nothing about picking out lingerie, which is understandable because it can be confusing. What type of lingerie to buy, what size, what color – how is a man to know? Here is a little guide to help you when choosing lingerie for that special someone.
There are a few things to consider before you go out. What does she like? Remember that you will not be wearing this – she will and you should go out with the intent on getting something she will like. If she is not into Lacey, tiny, see-through teddies, chances are if you buy that, she will not be in much of a mood to wear it and you may never see it. So keep what she likes in mind.

If you do not know, check out her nightgown/lingerie drawer before you leave. Check for material type (cotton, silk, etc.), colors, and most importantly, size. She may be flattered if she wears a large and you get her a small, but if she wears a small and you buy her a large, you may find yourself in trouble. Avoid anything that says “control” on the label. Those items are used to firm and flatten tummies and rears and she would probably not appreciate receiving them as a gift.

Another thing to remember is if the store offers to wrap the lingerie let them. Dainty lingerie will look better in their wrapping than if you wrap it in the paper left over from your cousin’s birthday. The presentation is part of the package with lingerie. Also, if you are uncomfortable in the store, check out online stores that sell lingerie. You can always start at Victoria’s Secret, but most major department stores like Macys and Nordstroms also sell lingerie. Final note – remember to keep your receipt just in case it is the wrong style, size, or color.

Now, what type of lingerie is available?

Just about anything you can think of! Ask yourself what the occasion is. Is this to let her know you love her? If so, something crotchless or see-through probably will not send that message. But, if it is for Valentine’s Day or your anniversary, something a little more risqué might be appreciated. Bras alone have many different styles including push-up, plunge, gel filled, padded, underwire, seamless, backless, strapless, open cup, and unpadded.

If you are purchasing a bra and panty set, always check out what she has in her drawer beforehand and definitely make note of the size – of both the bra and panties. Most places sell at least one pair of panties that match each bra, but some will sell several so you can mix and match. It will help to know what type of panties she likes to wear too – thongs, briefs, or high cut bikini.

When it comes to sleepwear, it can be just as confusing. One type of sleepwear is baby doll pajamas. They usually have very thin straps, a plunging V neckline, and are very short with matching panties. You will find most of these made out of silk or satin, materials that always make a woman feel good about herself. But, if she feels her breasts are too big or too small or thinks her stomach is too big, you might want to avoid baby doll pajamas.

There are slips and chemises. Similar to the baby doll pajamas, these are a little longer and a little better at concealing problem areas such as breasts, butt or stomach. They too are usually made of silk or satin.

Gowns are full-length versions of the babydoll. Many are see-through or Lacey and can help put your woman in the mood. Babydolls, slips, chemises, and gowns may also come with a robe.

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A pajama set might not sound too sexy, but if it is silky, and buttons up the front, it can make your woman feel very sexy, especially if she is a plus size (size 18 or larger). Boxer sets have become very popular lately. The tops are tight, with thin straps and usually a V neckline, although there are boxer sets with normal t-shirt tops.

If you are really looking for lingerie to spice up your love life, take a look at Frederick’s of Hollywood (available online). They have been selling sexy lingerie for over 50 years. They have a wide variety of garter belts, bustiers, corsets, teddies (similar to the babydoll, but one piece), crotchless panties, and fishnet stockings – items that may not be available at many stores that sell lingerie.

What type of lingerie you should get your love depends on a lot on her self-esteem. Many big women love sexy little teddies, but some will shy away from them, for fear of exposing too much of themselves. Most stores sell lingerie in plus sizes, which are a little less revealing. If she is really athletic, a boxer set might be something she would like. Thin women will look good in anything, but especially teddies, corsets, and babydolls.

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When shopping for lingerie, try to keep in mind what she likes. If you purchase something similar to the lingerie she already has and in colors you know she likes, it will probably make her happy. But, keep the receipt just in case!

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a cheat boyfriend

What Should Women do when Men Cheat?

I once heard a friend of mine say, “all men cheat”. She went on to narrate the usual mournful tale of how her once upon a time knight in shining armor started cheating on her with her sister who had come to stay with her for a few months. Of course, there was enough water from her eyes to mop the floor when she was done telling her story. Their marriage would be five years in few days and she was not even sure she still had a marriage.

Most of us have heard or read similar stories, some ladies have experienced it and we all are left with that question, “why do men cheat?” it is known that women also cheat even if in more coded ways than men. But, we cannot deny the accelerated and alarming rate amongst men. I am not sure there is an antidote or cure that works for all men.

In response to the question, here are some answers. From the men;

It’s nature: somehow, many men hold this opinion. They see cheating as an inevitable expression of their nature as men.

Women get boring: this is usually the reason given by married men who cheat. They claim their wives stop making efforts to stay as beautiful as they met them; they do little or nothing to spice things up ion the marriage.

Provocative dressing: with the background of a shabbily dressed wife or girlfriend, men are often confronted by other ladies who emphasize all their curves and expose their bodies a lot. This is temptation unbearably by most men.

Lost respect: some men claim they cheat only on women they have no respect for or have lost respect for. The lack of respect or lost respect could be due to varying reasons. The end result is the same, they cheat on them.

A search for something: from satisfying sex to a particular sex of children, men cheat when they seem not to be getting it from their ‘original’ woman.

There would be myriad of other reasons which every woman would count as dung, but not the man. To him, these reasons are as valid as anything can be. So, ladies, it seems without divine intervention, some men would still find reasons to cheat on you. So, pray! Then, do not be the one to give them a reason(s) to cheat. Keep up your A-game; don’t give in to the ‘it-does-not-matter-anymore’ syndrome. Dress good and amazing. Cook great meals. Don’t drop your education or career but don’t let them draw you away too much from your man. Make him your own! If he then still cheats, you have a clear conscience that you did not induce, incite or encourage him. You did your best.What to do and how to react if he does cheat is a topic for another day.

What to do and how to react if he does cheat is a topic for another day.