Help! I think I married the wrong person.
It’s everyone’s desire to have a great relationship, we all want to love and be loved. We grow up with the notion that God is love and anyone who does not have God cannot love, this may be a misconception. Why do we always drag God into our mess? I think it is the instinctive nature of man to avoid taking responsibility. After the initial euphoria of love, courtship, and wedding, we may start asking “did God choose the wrong person for me?”.
Adam pointed at Eve and she pointed at the snake, humans have always wanted any other person to be responsible for our choices. If it is not the Devil plaguing us then it is God who has left us. Love is a choice, it is a conscious decision we make about people. It is not just some fleeting emotion that can be attributed to some moment of indiscretion.
Most of us have thought long and hard before choosing who we love to spend the rest of our lives with, we cannot ignore those choices. We have a responsibility to nurture this choice and make them work.
There are some questions which I would hope you can evaluate with your spouse or partner, maybe it would help you pull through a faltering relationship.
These questions would also bring you back to the path of responsibility:
1. Why did you choose Him/Her: be honest about this, understand what was your “selling point”. You must have seen a deal maker, something that assured you about your future with them.
2. How did you picture the future: sometimes, a little deviation from the future we planned could create that vacuum. Take a reality check whenever you feel you are missing out on a lot more by being with that person.
3. God’s plan for you: clarify it again, does your partner still contribute in any way? Are they gifted with abilities that complement your walk with God?
You may be allowing emotions to cloud your judgment, tough times don’t last. The first step in repentance or recovery is taking responsibility. Stop giving excuses and shifting blame, own up to the failure and let God step in.
Damilola is a content curator and creator, he writes for the passion and the thrill. He has been published on Tuck Magazine, SGNT, VivaNaija and also shares some of his stories on jonathanoladeji.com. He has an eye for juicy content and loves to make brand ideas sell.