Dating, LOVE, Marriage

Confusion: How love Turns Simple Choices Into Pendulum

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Swinging in the valley of uncertainty
A mountain of joy, to the west
A mountain of sorrow, to the east
Like a pendulum
Dangling between extremes of hope and despair
I’. ~ Eunice



Man’s greatest weapon is the ability to choose. Sometimes, he is unable to choose; and he is the hands of a clock dancing around its face. Other times he leaves his choices to others; like the pendulum triggered by an external force. He keeps dancing between two extremes until he overcomes that force and becomes free.
There are circumstances where we find ourselves caught in the body of a pendulum, and choices become harder than they should be. You desire a relationship with someone. Maybe you just want to start being a part of a guy’s life, notwithstanding the apprehensions of the monotonous life ‘couples’ seem to experience. You are eager to find variations that would spice up the relationship; and like switching days between ‘bae-on-specs’ and ‘bae-without-specs. Also a switch from ‘bae-with-makeup’ to ‘bae-without-makeup’ on other days.

But this same guy you love is the external force in your pendulous life. He is neither here nor there, and he is not sure of what he wants. He shows no sign of being ready to be committed to you, yet you find your life tilting to his emotional dictates. His smiles complete your existence, He is upset and you are ready to commit suicide. Yet, he is the type you find out is in a relationship, the realization settling in your throat like gall. When you decide to pull away and find peace, he is the one to pull you back, professing undying love.

With him, you are between extremes of hot and cold, near and far, sweet and bitter, high and low. You love him, and he says he loves you but there is no possibility of a future between both of you. You know this well.
Wielding one’s weapon to choose means being your own hero. It means stepping forward, stepping out and stepping away. There is nothing delightful in the life of the pendulum. It gets weary of it’s to and fro journeys and those watching it get dizzy.

If you decide your fate, you will find love or love will find you eventually. Either way, you will learn to appreciate that every sunrise in the life of the clock’s hand differs from the next and yesterday’s sunset bears no resemblance to tomorrow’s sunset.
The pendulum cannot boast of this.


Eunice Oladeji

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