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Miserable and In Love, the days of our lives just before marriage

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A lot of us dump our dreams once we are in love, and after marriage. Love seems to be too much of a bargain, it demands for our time. It demands a commitment to a family and other burdens that make us look for the easy way out. You settle for salaried jobs and throw aside those ideas that sent thrills down our spine. Then you have to pay the bills and carry the baggage that comes with love. You start doing a lot of reminiscing “I used to be so good at this, I used to be so good at that.” Not long after finding the love we almost regret not chasing our dreams. The person we fell in love with becomes a baggage, we seem to be dragging through life.

All the Abandoned Dreams

What is the correlation between broken relationships and all your old sketches that resurface? Those messages you used to listen to, they just reappear. I think for many of us, love is a parasitic virus, it does not share its host with any other ambition. Love takes over everything, it becomes more of a burden because with love comes responsibility. Responsibilities in themselves do not kill love, they are supposed to be the fuel for love to bloom. The problem is that most of us invest our commitments in the wrong places. We change our circle of friends, we change the places we visit. We stop finding joy in the things that actually made us so loveable.

Marriage becomes Misery

We build all our lives and hopes around these fleeting needs, we get the wrong job for a measly pay. The salary gets us cars and flashy things that fit into what people expect of our relationship. We exchange gifts when we should actually dialogue with our loved ones. After some time love turns to “water” instead of “fuel”. Love is supposed to be a propelling force, something that keeps the engine of purpose running. While we begin to run the rat race of doing our “duty”, we forget the reason why we loved the other person in the first place. Like water, it becomes a necessity and nothing more. We are barely cutting a better deal by having a partner that earns. The sweet lover becomes a partner for the rent, a partner for the kids and so on.

Love suddenly becomes summarized in boring weekend sex and boom!! It’s 2050, you wake up to find that you are too old to do anything special. If this defines the path you are on, there is still a way out.

Read my next article “5 Big Decisions to make before you fall in Love”


Jonathan Oladeji

Damilola is a content curator and creator, he writes for the passion and the thrill. He has been published on Tuck Magazine, SGNT, VivaNaija and also shares some of his stories on He has an eye for juicy content and loves to make brand ideas sell.

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