eulogies to the dead

Eulogies: Beautiful thoughts that fall on dead ears.

The beauty of the casket reminds me of how much we conceal beautiful things. We then open up after our loved ones have died. Eulogies are wasted on the dead.

I have always hated funeral services not because of the sight of the dead body or cries of the mourners. Funerals are the moments when the most beautiful words about the dead are spoken but they are dead. It is lamentable that half of the sweet words spoken about the dead was most likely unknown to them while they lived.

I remember the priest who preached at the last funeral I attended. My camera clicked away while he spoke but I listened. He told a story of how his late friend saved him from a terrible mistake that would have cost him his life and that of his family. He spoke at length on the impact he made and by the time the sermon was finished, the congregation was in tears.

Tears and Eulogies

I struggled to hide my own tears not because of his words but because the priest never told him. His friend did not even know he did anything that made such influence in his life. As far as I was concerned, telling the story at the funeral service was a waste since the dead man did not hear it while he was alive.

We must realize that people really do not have to die before we say how much they have influenced us?
Everybody needs to be told how much impact they have made on people’s life while they are alive. Many people spend their entire lives wishing that other people would acknowledge them. Your kind words of appreciation and honour at their grave side would really not make any difference.

All that matters is what you have told them while their spirits was in their body. Never throw away a chance to say how much you love and appreciate other people. If you see something beautiful in someone, say it now. Do not wait for that moment when the now cold ears of the dead cannot hear the beautiful words spoken about him.


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twisted values

Twisted values, the core of decisions and life.

On one of my photo-walk sessions to the market, my attention was drawn to this footwear seller. His goods were all varying quality and prices. This shot reminded me of a story I once heard. A group of mischievous college students agreed to rob a supermarket just for the fun of it. They then came together to think of a good plan, but none of the plan covered how they were going to transport the stolen goods without a car or any alternative transportation.  Finally, one of them then suggested something that made them feel like they had just eaten the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

They agreed to move into the shop by eleven p.m. since the supermarket closed by nine p.m. They got together and broke into the supermarket with the singular purpose of exchanging the price tags. The price tag of the  fifty thousand dollar Jacket was exchanged with the fifteen thousand dollar price tag. The price tag of the really expensive television was exchanged with one that the supermarket owners kept just to occupy space. They did this for all the goods they wanted and they were done and gone before one thirty a.m.

The following morning they were back at the supermarket, this time to buy the goods with already changed price tags. They paid for all they wanted before anyone noticed that the VALUE of the goods had been changed.

What a twisted mind!

But wait a second. This is surely a perfect reflection of what’s going on in our society today. Someone somewhere came in and messed with our sense of value. In as much as we will like to blame this on the devil, we must take responsibility for our actions. We must take responsibility for not putting the first things first. For not placing value on the things that really matter.

You may have chosen to enjoy a movie over being with a friend who really needed you just because we did not value that relationship. You believe it’s best to buy that beautiful dress than send your friend who is in need some money. Like that footwear seller, there are a lot of things and people in your life, tag them with the right value.

This is not to make you choose suffering over enjoyment but to make you reconsider and prioritize your values. The value we place on people, events and things would determine if we will have regrets when look back at our lives. Make the right decision today. Spend them with that friend, spend that call credit to better your relationships, attend that get together, attend that voice training, write that article, start that business. Invest in that which is truly valuable.


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A Great House Warming Gift Idea For Every Budget

Eventually, someone you know will move house – and this idea will come in very handy indeed when you want to come up with a house warming gift that is a little bit more meaningful and interesting than just handing over a pot plant.

There is an old Celtic tradition which involves the humble snail.

Now the snail carries its house on its back and so it is never homeless; but more, the spiral design of the snail shell was always very special to the Celtic people, so it makes perfect sense that any kind of snail makes the perfect house warming present.

To be warm, safe, snug and protected inside one’s own home is a wonderful idea and the snail symbol, or the more abstract spiral, lends itself to all manner of wonderful house warming gifts.

You can make a card very easily by cutting out a spiral and affixing it with glue; any snail motif on a greeting card or a picture of a snail drawn or cut out from another source will make the house warming card special.

Snails are very popular as ornaments, so you can get an enormous variety of all sizes of snail figurines, from small brass snails to large garden ornaments made from marble and they’re all easily found, online and off.

An exotic snail shell or the shell of a sea snail is an extension of this idea and particularly good for beach front properties. As the basic snail/spiral shape is natural and easy, you can even just find a beautiful stone and paint a spiral on it for a superb and extremely personal and lovely house warming present; further, it is the type of gift that the recipients will treasure and keep, and that will remind them of you and your good wishes every time they see it.

There are many other ways in which the snail design can be used for house warming gifts. If you really need to give a pot plant, you can decorate the pot in which it comes with a spiral. Any budding artist can make and paint a basic snail from self-hardening clay; snail and spiral mobiles are easy and always fascinating, too. You can make a small painting that can be hung in a hallway and depending on the recipient, grandchildren can get involved, just the same as famous interior designers, artists, and goldsmiths – it only depends on your budget.

I think that the idea of the Celtic house warming snail is a wonderful way to convey good wishes to someone in their new home, and to give them your intention that they should always be snug, happy, well cared for and safe.


class is not waste: Photo by Hans Eiskonen on Unsplash

​The difference between waste and taste is class, spend on yourself just a little. 

Do you frequently have that feeling that you have just wasted a lot of money on a pair of new shoes, and you feel guilty that such money could have been used to feed the poor? Pause! even Jesus did not turn back the jar of expensive perfume. He understood time, seasons, occasions and most especially, class.

You don’t agree?

Humour me a bit, would you have been happy to know the messiah died smelling of cheap perfume? Or that he was dumped in a shallow grave with little or no ceremony? Of course, Jesus would still have risen but I think that would have been the worst kind of damage to theology. More people would be enslaved to the fear of spending. Sometimes it’s alright to take your hard earned money and spend it on things that make you happy no matter how frivolous they seem, you deserve it!

Did you know that Mark Zuckerberg (Facebook CEO) wears gray tee shirts almost every time? Yes you knew but something you don’t know is that these tiny pieces of beauty costs him $400 apiece and that’s because he buys them in bulk from the Brunello Cucinello brand. Ordinarily he would be spending $700 apiece. His sweatshirts are Brunello Cucinelli as well and are priced from $3,000!

class source image

Wouldn’t you call that a good waste of money? Hold up! 

Mark with his wife have also since 2015 pledged to donate 99 percent of their current Facebook shares — around $45 billion in total — to charity. Now beat that! Doesn’t he deserve a $400 tee-shirt?  Sometimes,  it’s not just because we have also done a lot of good with money but because our taste has improved over time.
This is why it is not advisable to judge people because of their spending habit. Most times our own spending habits are more of a result of necessity and not because we want to spend so cheaply.

There is that temptation to judge others for spending so much on clothes, houses, cars and other things that make them feel good. We not only close doors for ourselves by annihilating ourselves from the company of others, we also live with a lot of low self esteem and guilt.

So what are the immediate and most visible results of this repressive lifestyle?

1.  Self annihilation: you begin to fear the company of people who can choose to spend based on their level of income.

2. Resentment: You find it difficult to be  happy when other people seem to be celebrating something that gives them joy.

 3. Low self esteem: the chances that anyone who sees class as wastage would have low self esteem is very high. The truth is, you can never know the story behind other people’s taste and choices, it is not your place to feel intimidated by their lifestyle but you will be because you have judged them.

4. Guilt: eventually when you have an opportunity to spend on yourself and your family, it becomes a struggle with guilt and you lose the joy of these moments.
The expectation of every human is to grow in class, it is not desirable to remain within the same spending limit, year in and year out. The ability to embrace each level of financial freedom you attain relies a lot on your understanding of this simple truth “the difference between waste and taste, is class.”
I hope you get to grow in class, spending limit and finances. If you want to know a little bit more about how you can achieve more financially and live a happier life, you can join the Designed life academy on the 21 days of Fearless journey. Thanks for reading.

how to enjoy your traveling road trips

Traveling: How to do long road trips in style, enjoy!

We still had not gotten there. I blinked my eyes awake. Unlocking my phone, I saw that it was some minutes past 4 pm. We had been traveling for 6hours. From what the driver was saying, we still had close to 12hours to go. My eyes were tired of sleep, my legs and back tired of sitting and my mind frustrated at the monotony of sleep and non-sleep, with no mindful thing in between.

Yes, most of us have had something similar to this. So, what things can make such seemingly non-stop journey lively and less killing?

1. Traveling with friends:

Believe me, this is the best favor you can do yourself. It is the cheapest and surest way of keeping yourself entertained on a journey. Especially when these are true friends, playful and adventurous. They are the type that would disturb you about the weird looking sight on the road, the fellow passenger that has been winking at you and that unfamiliar food being hawked on the road, urging you to try it out. Unfortunately, you might be journeying solo, not due to any fault of yours.

2. Reading/jotting:

for most people, this would mean reading anything apart from academic/school books. It would include novels, inspirational and motivational books, religious literature, magazines, etc. It is highly recommended that it be a novel you have not read before but has hopes of being interesting. It is at this point I’ll also advise you have snacks with you. Proper food should be put into thought too but be careful, an angry stomach on this kind of journeys is a lot of bad news. Jotting is for people who like to take note of places they travel through and document interesting moments of their journey. It is especially good for writers who find their muse with wheels beneath them…on the road. Many best selling books were written on long journeys.

3. Socializing:

don’t even think of it! I don’t mean being social in the virtual world; facebook, twitter, WhatsApp, et al. I mean, real time social! Make friends. Start with the least serial killer looking, friendly and closest person. No one really knows what opportunity or connection is sitting right next to them till they find out. I don’t mean you totally discard your phone but you just don’t get lost in it. There are living and breathing people around you who you can learn from and also impact positively.

And you know what, if you don’t reach out first, somebody might reach out to you. This can be good. Although, it also means you don’t get to select anything physical or even mental/psychological about the person. Remember, when we worry what people may think or say about us, we limit ourselves. That’s not the way to fearless fun as we encourage through the #21 days of faith challenge, also on DesignedLife.

A long journey does not have to be ‘Let Our Naps Go-on'(LONG).

Photo by Amanda Sandlin on Unsplash
Photo by Amanda Sandlin on Unsplash

Character Over Reputation

Political and church leaders, actors and actresses, singers, writers, athletes, professors, engineers, doctors, lawyers and practically everyone (although they may not be even aware of what it truly means) are undoubtedly concerned about their reputation.

Even if we give high regards to integrity and dignity as values taught everywhere in the world, we have been continuously startled by news of moral downfalls. We’ve all heard of government officials being persecuted, famous professional athletes linked to drug usage, popular actors involved in crimes, businessmen alleged to have committed unethical practices, and preachers not measuring up to what is expected from them. Sadly, the list seems endless.

More than ever, there is a necessity for us to instill in ourselves not just good reputation, but more importantly, good character. Most of us are so concerned about our image

roxanne-desgagnes-83273– on how others may look at us. Let me make this clear though. I am not saying there is something wrong in assuring that we maintain a good image. A learned person knows better not to give more importance to reputation than his character. There is a big distinction between the two.

William Hersey Davis has this to tell us:

The circumstances amid which you live determine your reputation…
The truth you believe determines your character…
Reputation is what you are supposed to be…
Character is what you are…
Reputation is the photograph;
Character is the face…
Your reputation is made in a moment;

Your character is built in a lifetime…

Your reputation is learned in an hour;
Your character does not come to light for a year…
Reputation grows like a mushroom;
Character lasts like eternity…
Reputation makes you rich or makes you poor;
Character makes you happy or makes you miserable…
Reputation is what men say about you on your tombstone;
Character is what the angels say about you…

We must be able to master ourselves by knowing both our internal and external characteristics. Some people cannot see beyond the appearance, but the few who can see the importance of inner beauty is more sensible.

Let us cultivate an honest heart. It calls for conquering our weaknesses, fears, faults and other undesirable traits. Let us wage a war against our own faults because once we know what we are fighting against, then that will lead us to take the necessary steps in order to overcome such imperfections.

What aspects of life must be given more attention in order to develop an ideal attitude? The answer is good deeds because they endure. They are therefore more important than mere kind words and praises that may pass away like a wind that blows and constantly moves. By developing a good character, you also win for yourself a good reputation. Check out 21 days of Faith and Fearless and let’s build together. 

Going vegetarian could be the best health decision you have ever made


This is an explosive trend. Some people chose to become vegetarian because of health issues, animal right issues or they simply don’t enjoy the taste of meat. There are several types of vegetarians which include semi-vegetarians, who still eat semi-vegetarians and all animal products in small amounts. These type of vegetarians usually eat this way because of a health problem such as high blood pressure, obesity or heart disease. Lactovegetarians don’t eat any meat but include dairy products and eggs in their diet, this is the most common type of vegetarian in Western cultures.

There are also Lacto-vegetarians, who do not eat eggs but still eat dairy. The last and most extreme type of vegetarian is a vegan. This type of vegetarian doesn’t include any type of animal products in their diet, including honey and gelatins. They often avoid wearing clothing made out of leather or wool and only use products which are not tested on animals. Most vegans become vegetarians because of issues concerning animal rights. Some vegetarians will only eat white meats, such as chicken or fish, or will only eat meat that is labeled “free range”, which indicates that the animals were not raised under cruel conditions.

Is it Healthy to be Vegetarian?

A lot of people who eat meat can’t understand how a vegetarian can be healthy. The truth is that vegetarians tend to be a lot healthier than meat eaters. Statistics show that meat eaters are three times more likely to develop heart disease or breast cancer than vegetarians. Meat eaters are also 400% more likely to develop colon cancer. Eating too much meat has also been linked to obesity and excess weight. On average, vegetarians live about 6 years longer than meat eaters.rawpixel-com-256640

If you decide you want to become vegetarian, you have to make sure you are consuming enough healthy foods. A healthy vegetarian doesn’t survive off of white bread and pasta alone. Make sure to include a lot of fresh fruit and vegetables, whole grain pasta, bread and rice, lots of beans and legumes, soy proteins, tofu, and nuts. Make sure you get adequate amounts of calcium by eating a lot of soy milk, tofu, spinach, kale and other vegetables high in calcium. If you are still eating dairy products and eggs, make sure you are consuming them in healthy amounts.

By switching to a vegetarian diet, you will improve your health and lose weight as long as you are eating the right foods. There is a lot of information on the internet concerning the issue of vegetarianism, so you can find out which type of vegetarianism is right for you.

Learn more about healthy foods and diet tips by visiting  Positive Health Wellness. We would also like to invite you to an extremely delightful journey into Health, and Productive life choices. Just join us HERE.


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A Man’s Guide to Buying Lingerie for his Lady

Most men know nothing about picking out lingerie, which is understandable because it can be confusing. What type of lingerie to buy, what size, what color – how is a man to know? Here is a little guide to help you when choosing lingerie for that special someone.
There are a few things to consider before you go out. What does she like? Remember that you will not be wearing this – she will and you should go out with the intent on getting something she will like. If she is not into Lacey, tiny, see-through teddies, chances are if you buy that, she will not be in much of a mood to wear it and you may never see it. So keep what she likes in mind.

If you do not know, check out her nightgown/lingerie drawer before you leave. Check for material type (cotton, silk, etc.), colors, and most importantly, size. She may be flattered if she wears a large and you get her a small, but if she wears a small and you buy her a large, you may find yourself in trouble. Avoid anything that says “control” on the label. Those items are used to firm and flatten tummies and rears and she would probably not appreciate receiving them as a gift.

Another thing to remember is if the store offers to wrap the lingerie let them. Dainty lingerie will look better in their wrapping than if you wrap it in the paper left over from your cousin’s birthday. The presentation is part of the package with lingerie. Also, if you are uncomfortable in the store, check out online stores that sell lingerie. You can always start at Victoria’s Secret, but most major department stores like Macys and Nordstroms also sell lingerie. Final note – remember to keep your receipt just in case it is the wrong style, size, or color.

Now, what type of lingerie is available?

Just about anything you can think of! Ask yourself what the occasion is. Is this to let her know you love her? If so, something crotchless or see-through probably will not send that message. But, if it is for Valentine’s Day or your anniversary, something a little more risqué might be appreciated. Bras alone have many different styles including push-up, plunge, gel filled, padded, underwire, seamless, backless, strapless, open cup, and unpadded.

If you are purchasing a bra and panty set, always check out what she has in her drawer beforehand and definitely make note of the size – of both the bra and panties. Most places sell at least one pair of panties that match each bra, but some will sell several so you can mix and match. It will help to know what type of panties she likes to wear too – thongs, briefs, or high cut bikini.

When it comes to sleepwear, it can be just as confusing. One type of sleepwear is baby doll pajamas. They usually have very thin straps, a plunging V neckline, and are very short with matching panties. You will find most of these made out of silk or satin, materials that always make a woman feel good about herself. But, if she feels her breasts are too big or too small or thinks her stomach is too big, you might want to avoid baby doll pajamas.

There are slips and chemises. Similar to the baby doll pajamas, these are a little longer and a little better at concealing problem areas such as breasts, butt or stomach. They too are usually made of silk or satin.

Gowns are full-length versions of the babydoll. Many are see-through or Lacey and can help put your woman in the mood. Babydolls, slips, chemises, and gowns may also come with a robe.


A pajama set might not sound too sexy, but if it is silky, and buttons up the front, it can make your woman feel very sexy, especially if she is a plus size (size 18 or larger). Boxer sets have become very popular lately. The tops are tight, with thin straps and usually a V neckline, although there are boxer sets with normal t-shirt tops.

If you are really looking for lingerie to spice up your love life, take a look at Frederick’s of Hollywood (available online). They have been selling sexy lingerie for over 50 years. They have a wide variety of garter belts, bustiers, corsets, teddies (similar to the babydoll, but one piece), crotchless panties, and fishnet stockings – items that may not be available at many stores that sell lingerie.

What type of lingerie you should get your love depends on a lot on her self-esteem. Many big women love sexy little teddies, but some will shy away from them, for fear of exposing too much of themselves. Most stores sell lingerie in plus sizes, which are a little less revealing. If she is really athletic, a boxer set might be something she would like. Thin women will look good in anything, but especially teddies, corsets, and babydolls.


When shopping for lingerie, try to keep in mind what she likes. If you purchase something similar to the lingerie she already has and in colors you know she likes, it will probably make her happy. But, keep the receipt just in case!

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christians find rest

Rest and Reflect

Over the past week, I have realized that many Christians are going through a season of PRESSING. You might be feeling burdened down a bit or even having a lot on your mind. I want you to know YOU ARE IN A GREAT PLACE. You are in a place of walking into the greatest moments of your life. The enemy wouldn’t be messing with you or bothering you if you weren’t a threat! You have to really sit back and reflect on what the Lord has done for you. You may have faced many secret battles and public battles. Just know you are never alone.

The enemy is hating on you in a big way. He doesn’t want you to find out what it means to really walk with the Lord. He doesn’t want you to learn who you are in Christ especially during your season of singleness. Guess what?! He is already defeated and if you don’t give up! You will see what God promised you in every area of your life. I want you to know that you must continue standing on the word of God. You must use your spiritual weapon of rest as you walk through this season.

What God is Saying

During my quiet time with the Lord God kept telling me that my children need to rest. God stated to me that many of us are trying to fight battles and we are exhausted. God is saying he has your back! You don’t have to fall or give into the enemy’s lies. God sees what you have been through and what you are going through. In order to win the battle, you are in you must rest. When you rest it doesn’t mean you have no power or authority. Also, don’t feel bad when you rest. I know it looks impossible to rest because there are so many things to do each day. Take a step back. I want you to stop questioning and I want you to just breathe.

Jesus wants to teach you how to walk with him. This key scripture came into my heart during my quiet time.

Matthew 11:30 NIV

For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.


The burdens you are carrying will crush you if you don’t give it to God. The weights and the questions may seem unanswered, but let it go. Give it to God and just stand in the place of worship. Continue to stand in that place of faith. People around you may not understand and guess what it’s okay! God is leading you into a new land! Just PRESS THROUGH!

Take time this week to reflect and rest! Find time this week to look at your season of singleness as a gift. Take time to look at the faithfulness of God! THAT IS THE KEY TO MOVE INTO THE NEXT LEVEL OF GLORY!

Here are a few key points that can help you as you reflect during your pressing season.

Rest Key Points:

  • You can’t figure it all out. Just let everything go and give every concern over to God. Whatever you keep thinking about over and over again. You will just exhaust yourself. Let father God take hold of each situation. Just tell God what is on your heart. You are never alone. Let God into every area. Just rest into his arms. Just sit with him.
  • Thank God for what you do have. The best place to be to enter into a mindset of rest with God is to thank him.
  • It’s okay to sit back after you have done what you were supposed to and just rest. Don’t allow people to make you feel bad for your me + Jesus time. You need special moments with God to energize yourself. You need personal time with the Lord to reflect.
  • Rest in prayer with the Lord. Sometimes, you just need time to lay on your face and really surrender everything to the Lord. He wants you whole and complete in him alone. Don’t talk so much, but work on during this season to listen and receive.
  • If you don’t know where to begin to rest. Just sit with your favorite healthy snack and talk with God. He just wants to hear your voice. Simple steps bring big progress!

Reflect Key Points:

  • Look back on what the Lord has done in your past. If you keep focusing on what you don’t have you won’t have the heart you need to really receive what the Lord wants you to receive. If you focus on what God has done you will start seeing he hasn’t left you!
  • Write down what the Lord has done. Write it down in a journal or personal tablet. You have to write down blessings and what God has done so you can have a visual. You have to have some type of memorial memories of what the Lord has done. So, when you have moments that seem like God is taking a while. You can look back and say WOW he did it for me a while back and I know he will do it again!
  • Don’t get bitter when other people get blessings that you wanted. Just know that God has allowed each test to come for a reason. God has specific blessings for each of us. Don’t worry or be afraid when things take a while. Just reflect and know that God is fighting for you.





Many people find it very difficult to criticize an opinion without being ethnocentric and insulting. There are some ways to criticize and make your own opinion in a polite manner. Social etiquette is very useful in public places, gatherings, social outings, and on social media, etc. The absence of social etiquette makes so many young people act terrible and hold on to absurd lifestyles.

A list of social etiquettes you should consider:

1. Say “I am sorry” when you are wrong and don’t hesitate to correct erring friends.

2. Don’t disturb others with the noise emanating from home theater, music players, and mobile phones.

3. Your ability to say ‘thank you’ goes a long way. The hands stretched to you deserve a simple thank you, don’t underestimate any good deeds.

4. Stay reserved and don’t jump into conversations you have not been invited to join.

5. Eat decently; The habit of disposing and dumping waste anyhow doesn’t add to your value.

6. Don’t practice African time, be punctual. Time is the most precious valuable anyone can have. When you have an appointment with someone, always make it at that time.

7. Respect other people privacy. It is very disrespectful to bump into someone house, bag, and closet without proper consent from the person.

8. Watch your tongue, don’t just address anyone anyhow even if you are rich. You still have to be courteous with your words to everyone you meet. The tongue can make or mar anyone, so let it speak good things.

9. Amy Vanderbilt said in his book and I quote “it is axiomatic that as we mature and grow in years and experience we must be able to meet more demanding social situations with confidence and ease.” Just as you grow, it is expected of you to add more to your principles, knowledge as well. Don’t be too proud to learn.

10. Don’t scream in public places because you are over excited. You never can tell if someone standing beside you is hypertensive.

11. If you are in a hall or cinema and you unknowingly sit on someone else’s seat, The best you can do is to give respect and stand up. People have this saying of “so far I didn’t meet anyone there, I have the right to sit down”. We have people with myriad and different opinions. In order not to create an unnecessary fight, stand and leave. It gives you respect you don’t even know you deserve.

12. Use deodorants generously. It sucks when you sit beside someone on the bus and you just have to use your handkerchief to cover your nose.

13. Courtesy demands you greet when you enter a shop, kiosk, small or large offices.

14. Learn to give regards. When you know the source of an object, articles, you must give reference by giving regards. This is very applicable to social media; many people plagiarize posts anyhow without acknowledging the writer which is also wrong.

15. Table manners are important when you eat with other people. You don’t talk while eating, you don’t hit your elbows on the table while eating, and you don’t make noise with your plates because you are eating. It shows a lack of manners!

16. A Loud throat clearing is very wrong in public, it irritates!

17. Say please, it shows how important your request is to you.

18. Shouting and raising your voice when you are on the phone is uncouth. keep your voice down!

19. Maintain a queue and don’t disorganise it when you are in the bank, canteen, malls or any public gathering.

20. There are still more, but I have to round it up with this last one which is; don’t invade someone else privacy by checking their phones.