How to Handle Rejection

If you have ever received a rejection letter or email, you would remember how it feels when you just saw the mail man or when you got an email notification. The excitement, the rush, and hope. Everything in you desires that your request gets a positive response, family, and friends crowd around you also. Holding your breath, you click that button or unfold that letter.

Instead of “Congratulations” what you see is a big fat “Unfortunately” and the rest becomes a blur, the hopes come crashing down and you realize that all the time and effort you put into the process just went to waste.

In another case, for those who have a checklist for the “Ideal” partner, we hardly take the chances with too many people. We make quick assessments from afar and evaluate the chances we have before taking the leap, our expectations are high, we know this is the one. There is that urgency that follows, the rush to get a response after declaring our intentions. We have done our homework, you know what she wants, the food she loves, you both watch the same TV shows and are practically twins. Then she comes around to tell you, she wants to be a friend but cannot offer much more than that. A classic case of rejection with a little bit of sympathy.

In a number of cases, we get our works turned down, our stories rejected by publishers, proposals discarded and we become traumatized. Rejection is as traumatic as death, it kills something inside the recipient. How should rejection be handled?

– Rejection should never be seen as a failure, rather it should be seen as a pointer to new directions.

-Rejection should be accepted as a propeller towards trying new outlets for our goals. If you have applied for a Job and got rejected, apply for another and keep applying till you get what you want.
– Rejection is not a sign to lower your standards, your initial vision should not be discarded. Reassessment may be necessary in some cases but the zeal to achieve you life’s purpose or desire should never be discarded.
– Be proud of yourself always. There is always a big temptation to lose confidence in your abilities, a rejection letter could be the first step towards total self doubt. If you experience self doubt, reach out to friends, family and those within your support system and their words of affirmation may be all you need.

Rejection is not the same as failure, you are the answer to some specific need out there and God has a plan and purpose for your life. It is not those who start out with zeal that become heroes but those who endure to the end. Do you have any abandoned dreams? Now is the time to go pick them up again, let this be a wake-up call to let you know that you can become whoever you want to be and rejection should not kill your dreams.

What You Should Know About Opinions, You are the Priority.

The opinions and criticisms of others only become nauseating when you have not developed the ability to think on your own, make your own decisions and live on your own terms. No one should have the power to make you do what you do not want to do but you cannot escape being pushed around if you do not know what you want to do in the first place.

You have to be sure of yourself but how can you be sure of yourself if you have not put yourself to the test? Unless you go through a series of processes, you cannot get to a place where you trust yourself and your instincts completely. Trust is not handed down so how do you get there? –time, practice, persistent, plus all your mistakes combined. It takes years to develop this ability but there will be a time when just your instincts will save you and others from a major disaster.

Who else has watched the movie, Sully? It is about a U.S. Airways Pilot, Captain Chesley Sullenberger, who averted a crash on January 15, 2009, when both engines of Flight 1549 failed at 2800 feet. He achieved this not only by depending on the knowledge he had gathered over the years but by trusting his instincts and making a quick- and what would become a lifesaving- decision when he landed in the Hudson River against all odds- a  feat no one else had ever achieved. He was later invited to a public hearing by theNational Transportation Safety Board on the accusation of endangering the lives of 155 passengers on board the plane but he stood his ground even when all the evidence presented showed that he could have landed safely if only he had returned to base, La Guardia, when the problem first started.

I watched as he battled fear, uncertainty, and doubt at some point and I understood that it is okay to fear and doubt, it comes naturally when we are faced with certain trauma and it can happen to any one of us but then again, we can rise above it just like this man did because he knew who he was, he knew his worth, he trusted his instincts and he was confident in his abilities. Soon after the rest of the world knew it too and called him a hero.

One day, someone would come from somewhere to demand something of you, it could be something that is just not you and hopefully you would be in a place where you can confidently say, “I think not”- not because of pride but because you have a consciousness of who you are and what you stand for without having to be told or reminded by other people.

Brace yourself and keep in mind that every struggle, hurt, pain, disappointment or rejection you had to go through will lead to that important moment when it will really matter.

You do not have to quit right now because things are hard. Everything has its season. Those mistakes you made are not limitations. There will come a day when you can boldly say you found a better way, you finally made it et cetera but you have to start from somewhere.So do not quit practice, do not skip that class, and do not miss that test. You never know when it would come in handy.If one man could save the world, it could be you.


10 Inspirational Notes to Me

Inspirational Notes to Me


1. You are the future, never be afraid of becoming exceptional as you were meant to be.

2. Be prepared to do everything it takes to live life without limits.

3. Above all, Love yourself. You can not love others when you are set on self-alienation.

4. Surround yourself with only the best of everything you want to be, association makes you become a reflection of those nearest to you.

5. Never join in beating down on yourself, be your own number one fan.

6. You are the only species of your kind, you are unique.

7. I am the definition of greatness, whatever milestone I make is the best that has ever been.

8. Comparison is a senseless game, there are more than a billion humans on heart. I cannot be like everyone!

9. My mind is the greatest creative force, I cannot be fighting against my own self. My job is to cultivate the excellence of my mind.

10. Failure is when my future is left at the mercy of my past and the present is sacrificed on the altar of self-pity.

ambition is catalyst

Ambition is the greatest catalyst for success, Protect yours.

It is not ambition that kills you. Ambition only acts as a catalyst. It drives you and fills you up with positive energy which you can harness into achieving something great. Stasis, on the other hand, can drive you nuts. Staying dormant will never propel you toward greatness. It will, however, enslave you and create room for resentment towards yourself and others. It kills you slowly.

Surround yourself with people who challenge you to be a better version of yourself. Be with people who bring positive energy to the table.

Protect your ambition, Protect your space.

You cannot allow negative people into your space. They will only end up stealing from you without remorse. They will steal your happiness. They will steal your joy. They will make everything you worked so hard for seeming worthless until you become one of them; not going forward, not going backward- caught in the middle. They will not stop until you are on their level and that is when you begin to die slowly, your creative energy and enthusiasm for life wanes until you become just a shadow. The painful part is you know you are spiraling downwards yet you are helpless because the type of people you allowed in who ought to have been the people helping you regenerate are doing the opposite of that. They are degenerative and that is your disadvantage.

You cannot make progress if you do not put a stop to it. Be done with all that. Enough of all that.What your mind can conceive, you can achieve. Draw from your well of strength and break free. Even when they are clawing at you, fight them off. You cannot be in the dark and expect to see the light without lighting a torch and once you break free, never look back. Re-establish yourself and amplify your energy by connecting with those who not only remind you of who you are but also help and challenge you to put your energy to good use and see your dreams and aspiration through.


responding to a calling

Would you Respond to God’s calling and Dump your Degree?

My Name is Joshua, I have always been an “A” grade student, everyone loves me. The hope my parents had were about to be dashed. My father died when I was barely 7 years old since then my Mother was married off to Uncle Jite and he was like a father to me. Uncle Jite did not treat me and mother like he treated his first wife and her children but he did right by us. He regularly added to my mom’s savings so she fed me and paid my school fees.

In my final year at the University of Nigeria Nsukka, I got the call of God to service. I finished NYSC and planned to break the news to my parents after returning home, Chinenye (My Fiancee) has been in mourning since I told her that she was getting married to a clergy. She had to choose that life or leave me.

My mother has told the whole village how her “Engineer” son will build a factory, employ their children and bring contractors to tar the roads.


What Should be Priority?

This narrative is common in countries where Christianity and several religious persuasions place a higher value on the calling of “God” than the needs of a dying society.

This question has remained largely unanswered, a lot of young people find themselves at a crossroad. Should a young graduate dump his 4/5years university degree and become a Bible-thumping Proselyte. Is it possible that God cares more about recruiting people to eternal life than building societies that work? Is there a balance out there?

These are questions that require a lot of counsel, a lot of prayers. Sometimes we make a decision not to choose what seems to be the expected route. We all know that Paul in the scriptures continued to work for his own upkeep by tent making, while we have other disciples who left their fish nets to follow Jesus. It is important that every individual chooses what path to service that best suits their conscience. If we would serve God then service to humanity must not become a burden to us.

After the command to love God with all our hearts, the next to it is that we should love our neighbors as ourselves. Let’s imagine that every human chose to abandon their vocations and all turned to evangelists, would we have a society that works and actually grows? Each reader should expand on this last thought from here on, it is not a complete answer but it’s a good start.

As much as there is a need for the social and emotional development of humans, the human nature does not start and end with spiritual and non-physical issues. We live in a physical world.