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Are Friends Worth ‘Fighting’ For? – Living a Designed Life

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sThat depends on your definition of friends, doesn’t it?

A friend is someone you know well and regard with affection even trust. That is the dictionary definition. Friendships are functions of several parameters. It involves emotions, time invested in certain relationships. It is not new to have trust broken among friends. Some couples never looked like they could ever breakup, they were so cute together. We suddenly hear news of their failed relationships and we wonder what could have gone wrong. It could be confusing, Why didn’t they hold on a little bit longer? What happened to their friendship?

Have you ever had to deal with someone who is opinionated and not ready to back down? Isn’t it exerting having to repeat yourself to a friend, even though they are determined to not understand your plight? They are convinced you are on the wrong track even if you are sure you are not. These friends take it upon themselves to correct you unnecessarily under the umbrella of friendship. Some friends will never ever agree with you even if the decision is yours because they believe they could have done better.

You both would like to believe you have the best interests of each other at heart yet you cannot deny how exhausting it really is having to go through a rollercoaster of emotions and fights in the name of friendship.

Some fights are not even worth it

Yet some of us cannot get ourselves to avoid it. We even extend it to people who are not our direct friends just because our so called friends are involved in it but that is not entirely wise. Do not join the wagon just because you want to be associated with a certain cause no matter what it is or who is involved in it especially when it is not noble. When the chips are down, the people who you fought for may or may not stick around probably because they are smart enough to know when not to engage or just too busy choosing their battles and selecting their arms.

It is better to fight your own fight and stop dragging other people in as a backup. Friendship is not an excuse to misbehave just because the other person is doing same.

We should all respect people, irrespective of their choices. It is your responsibility as a friend to support, encourage and protect each other without lording it over or resorting to violence when threatened. There is no hierarchy in friendship but there are boundaries. We all have a purpose and there is a time for everything. A time to draw the curtains and allow the sun in,  to shut the world out and do your own thing. There is the time to defend and a time to correct A time to disagree and a time to agree.

Friends or acquaintances come in different packages and each with a different gift or baggage. You just have to know who to keep, what to sift through and when to let go.

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Edikan Ekong

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